Dying To Live

Today's Gospel reading from John 12:24 became my "life verse" two years ago. This was inex-

plicable to me at the time as to why I felt such a strong attraction to a verse that, objectively, seems anything but attractive. But there it was, and I read it many days straight and came to memorize it. And repeat it. I knew God was probably trying to say something to me. He was.

Through this verse and the attempt to live it out ( Iwill be doing the attempting part for the rest of my life, no doubt) Christ has proven to me...

1. That He loves me tremendously and will be there through every circumstance

2. That His joy and peace are the only kind that last and are unshakeable and that in Him all joys are true joys but without Him, even those things that seem so good are not that great ultimately UNLESS lived out with Him and through Him.

3. That He cannot be outdone in generosity - there is nothing I've given over to Him that He has not bountifully returned in a hundred, unexpected, delightful ways. Joy seeming to be the main gift but what a gift!!

I come back to this verse every time I need to remind myself of what I want to be all about... in the end. Believe me, it is not as scary a verse as it may at first seem ~smiling~

"Amen, Amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies it produces much fruit."

I am from Kansas, and Oklahoma originally, and I have had occassion all my life to see beautiful, expansive fields of golden, life-bearing wheat swaying in the breeze. When the sun kisses these fields it is an incredible sight. It's an image for me that is conducive to reflection on this verse showing that if the grain dies, what it produces is amazing. If it does not die, all that's there is a barren field with some weeds - unremarkable, with nothing to gaze upon and no good for anyone.

If nothing else, I don't want to remain a boring grain of wheat - brown is such an unattractive color - except of course unless it is chocolate we are speaking of ;o)

God Love You and Keep You

p.s. - we had a ferocious thunderstorm the the other evening and my computer monitor on the computer where I can access my e-mail was fried. Nada. So until I can get a new one I cannot read or reply to any e-mails any of you might send me - this may be a few days to a week :o( so please do not think I'm not "lovin you", I'm just out of commission for a bit as far as e-mail goes.